Love Yourself

Hello old friend. Wow... it's been much, much too long since I've been on here to recount my life and sound board all of my thoughts. I know that nobody reads this (and thank God for that), but still; it's nice for me to come back to this thing and recollect. Looking back on all 95 posts I've had thus far (dating back since 2008 - I cringe), is like getting to know an old friend, even though it's really me. So here I am, back again, to let you the invisible and silent reader, know what's been going on.

My old posts seem to talk a lot about work and school, and nothing has changed, except everything has changed in a sense. For one, I graduated from school this past October surrounded by the greatest people I know, and that happens to be one of the hugest milestones in my life! Secondly, I now have different jobs (three jobs really), none of which are in the retail sector - bet you never thought I'd leave that dirt hole XXI behind, and now, four years on, I truly have! What's even better is that we're in the Christmas season, and I am coming into it with the knowledge that I no longer have to work another Boxing Day again, and with a significantly larger bank account than I am normally used to! Now that I'm out of school and no longer paying tuition, all my days have been dedicated to working as much as possible, working towards that far away future in which I can put a down payment on a house. I'm not quite there yet, but being in the double digits in one's bank account is a real pleasure to behold.

Funny that I've returned to this in the Christmas season. It seems that whenever I take a break from this, the time that I come back or am most active in is during this time. I talk about presents, make lists, show everyone what I've got, and all of the other hullaballoo that makes me happy. It's one of my favourite seasons and one of the only times I do get a break, so I can see why.

I get a break because Friends of Simon (yes I still work for that tutoring program, for now at least) because the students will have Winter Break, so there'll be no need for me! My other job at another private tutoring company will also be taking a break for the same reason, since my pupil there won't be in school for two weeks or so! And finally, one of my better jobs because of proximity to my home + pay, my Program Assistant job with the City of Surrey takes a break for the exact same reason as well. So, even though I don't want to be a teacher, all of my jobs surround kids and I get to have a nice little calm and relaxing few days before I'm back in the swing of things with them.

Speaking of my graduation day, which I wasn't, I just want to touch base on that. Most of the days leading up to my Convocation at SFU were stressful and unnecessarily irritating. I relied a lot on my best friends to make the day tolerable, and they pulled through magnificently (entertaining my family as they sat through me and Genina's long ceremonies, doing our hair, getting us presents and so much more). I was stressing about the weather too, what with our ceremony taking place outside, but it turned out to be great. But at the end of the day, the mood, all of that electricity, the pipe band playing and making me feel so alive - it all just came together to create the most perfect beyond perfect day. I tell everyone that graduation day was one of the happiest days of my life - better than my Prom Night, which I used to call one of my favourite days ever - and it just was. It was the culmination of all my sleepless nights, hard and frustrated work, and sacrifice. Any weekend I didn't get to have a social life was either because I had papers to write or tests to study for, or work to do so that I could pay my way through school. Now that it's all done, I'm glad to have walked through that fire. Because now I'm free to do what I want, without the hassle of thinking about deadlines. No more deadlines for me. Just open road and limitless possibilities. I feel like I'm writing a graduation speech. This is all so corny and uplifting. But it's true. I just want to look back on that day and remember it exactly how it was - perfect and full of love.

I have a full mind right now to just let loose and explore in great detail everything that's happened and changed in my life since my last post, but I won't. So I'll do what old-Gelina used to love doing when she wrote in this frequently, and that is write a list. I'm just going to write a list of all the important and unimportant things that have happened, and even if it was a milestone or a molehill, if it meant something to me, it's going to be on there. So here it is.

Gelina's List of Things That Happened Since Her Last Post in 2014:

• I graduated in Fall 2015 from the best school ever
• I quit XXI in April 2014 (took me long enough)
• I got two new jobs (with a private tutoring company, and City of Surrey, and a minor summer stint at the PNE)
• I got people back in my life after short separations
• I've been irritated and gained distance with some people in my life
• I got a new laptop for my last birthday (Mac Air!), and my parents gave it to me through a prank!
• I finished my 50 Book Reading Challenge resolution from way back when (it was overdue but I still finished it!)
• My love for Justin Bieber may have risen ten fold (judge me not)
• I became stupendously obsessed with Downton Abbey and Orphan Black, aka my top two favourite shows of all time; what the heck is a One Tree Hill?
• I got an Instagram, yahoo! (@gelinareads)
• I post on Facebook much, much less than I ever have before, despite using it daily for news and updates from friends
• I've re-arranged the bunkbed situation in my room so that it creates the illusion of space and makes me and Genina's living quarter a bit larger!
• Sadly, I do not have a new phone - but I plan to soon, hopefully!
• I really am, trying my darndest, to not just be a writer, but to. be. a. writer.

And that's about all I can think of... I told ya, it would have some actually important things, and some truly unimportant ones as well. I feel as if I could be missing a thing or two, but I've pretty much covered it all. I wouldn't dare explain any of those more ambiguous points, I'm not quite one to air my drama to a non-existent platform, but you never know! Gotta keep private things private, and let loose only your happy thoughts so they spread wildly to others.

Alright, I'm tired of this now. I'll be back again, for another post that will probably be far in between. It always happens with this blog. I always come back. You're like a lover I never have time for, and when I do, you always take me back, no matter how long I've abandoned you. I'm a bad diary keeper like that.

Enough of my metaphors for one night. I bet you rolled your eyes on that one up there, didn't you? I sure did, ha-ha-ha.

As I once used to day - goodbye, for I am off to save the world.

Before I forget! The song in this post is from, you guessed it, my boy now turned half-man ('cause he's not quite there yet), Justin Bieber and his song Love Yourself. Does that song really man "F" yourself, like it's a silent but meaningful diss track, or does it really mean he wants a mystery girl to learn how to love herself? I don't know! You tell me!

All the best,

G.