It's the end of a world

Chill night requires some chill blogging.

Well, chill does not necessarily apply to weather, let's be real. Right now I'm sitting on my top bunk dying of heat while the 90 dollar fan Genina bought for our bedroom reaches only her, sitting carelessly on her bottom bunk :( Oh the fates.

I came in to work today in a super grumpy mood, just thinking about how much this place has really been taking advantage of me and about their lack of appreciation for me. It's not that I'm asking them to kiss my butt or give me better shifts or put me in better zones, that's not it at all - I'm a sales associate and know that wherever they assign me is the section I belong for that day, and I usually head to it with little grumblings. It's just that, after two and a half years of loyal work and coming in 90% of the time they call me last minute, and doing MORE than my fair share of work on majority of the days that I come in, I somehow get the short end of the stick and just carry the load from all these slackers, and pretty much get zero in return from them. Well, besides the fact that I get paid. But even then, I almost feel like threatening to leave (which I know they would despise) unless I get a raise. But let's be real. I don't like to start drama. And I love the people that I work with. So maybe that stuff can wait for a while, huh?

Anyway, that wasn't the point of me talking about why I came into work grumpy today. It's weird, because I certainly did come in grumpy and wasn't paying attention AT all during the closing team's touch-base meeting at the start of the shift, but as the shift went on it just dissipated and I ended up not going home with my feet extremely, unbearable sore, like I have on majority of my shifts. It's probably got to do with the fact that I wore the flip flop platform looking shoes to work that Genina suggested, and I wasn't really working my butt off in the fitting rooms. I just went with the flow. So that was good for me. Not a bad shift tonight, not at aaaall.

I have a final exam on Wednesday that I haven't even BEGUN to study for, but is there even any point? It's an open book final, and I'm quite sure that the Prof said we could even leave the room if we wanted to, to sit and write the exam elsewhere. At least, that's what me and my classmate have been repeating since one of our lessons, so he and I might just exit and work on it somewhere quietly together. Is that cheating? I mean, if he's giving us the opportunity to bring our laptops and use whatever resources available to us AND letting us leave the exam room, does this not show that the prof doesn't really care if we share our work? I mean, say we went to an empty corner of the university to do the work together, how would the man even know if answers were discussed between students outside of the exam room? Well, let's just hope it's as easy as he made it sound that one time in lecture, 'cause God knows I'll need that extra help he's letting us sit the exam with.

My older sister came back from the states tonight, and God bless her soul, visited a Target. There, she bought me and my twin sis a ton of Arizona green teas, a ton of Lays flavoured chips that you don't get here in Canada (some seriously WEIRD flavours, but none that come to mind because I stuffed them all in my pantry when she got home), and of course, the number one demand from Canadian citizens to friends and relatives who mosey to the states, SPICY CHEETOS. I love them and I hate them. Not only do they get my fingers EXTREMELY powder-y with orange stuff, but eating them sincerely hurts. If I eat slowly, it'll be tolerable, but considering I devour those chips like no other, my mouth ends up burning like cray. But hey, I love 'em. And they're not here in Canada. So really, I just have to build my tolerance for spiciness.

I forgot to mention that today at work, I found a pair of high-waisted navy blue shorts that I am in-effing-love with, except I already own the same exact pair but in sky blue :( I was so torn. I liked that other colour better because navy is legitimately my fave colour, but I knew I shouldn't have spent the money. I already freaking spent cab money the other day because I didn't want to wait 30+ minutes for my bus and it was getting dark and I didn't want to walk home. So I didn't feel like I should waste the 17.80 dollars it would cost me. But, Gelina does not rob herself of clothes when I have been working so darned hard, and it's pay day on Friday, and like I've said in previous posts, I'm expecting it to be a big one. So, like the big spender that I am, I bought the navy blue high-waisted shorts that I already own in a sky blue wash, along with a pair of 1.80 earrings that had crosses on them, making my grand total plus my measly discount (the amount of which I shall not name... but I guarantee you it is lousy), 19 something dollars. 19 dollars out of my pocket that I really shouldn't have spent, but couldn't help it. Oh dear paycheque arriving on Friday, I was truly hoping you would push me to reach my summer savings goal, but I think it'll be the one after, instead. After all, I keep track of my money, and this month I think I've spent.... well, let me add it up (it'll seem like I have no social life because of how little I've spent but TRUST me... it's because I'm frugal and have been refusing to spend money even when I chill):

• 22 dollars for me and my twin sister's Pho 
• 8 dollars for the cab ride
• 19 something dollars for the clothes + earrings
• I probably forgot something, but I'm going to assume that's all

Added altogether, that's 49 dollars. And tomorrow since I'm baking with dat hoe Leiana and I need to buy some chocolate chips, I'll have pushed the 50 dollar limit for the month. I know that's nothing, but I feel really awful/guilty every time I spend money for some reason. I'm trying to revert back to my old ways, when I first just started earning money and I was so, so frugal with my money. I literally would spend, maybe twice a month. No exaggeration. What's happened to me :( Well, I know the answer to that. Clothes happened to me. THANK YOU, for nothing, xxi -_-

It is still dead hot in this bedroom of mine. I'm tellin' ya, if you're hot and you need to cool down, do yourself the favour and suck it up - get a freaking air conditioner. 'Cause I cannot stand this heat. THIS IS SO UNFAIR THAT GENINA CAN FEEL THE FAN AND I CAN'T. What kind of life is this.

I'm sure there's plenty more to be talking about but the rest of it I should probably keep on the downlow. I know like, zero people read this, but on the off chance that there's someone out there who knows me and actually gives a fudge what I say, I wanna say that I need to get back to work, stop fooling around, and focus on the thing that I actually wanna do and know that I want to do for a living. Can anybody guess? Probably. But probably not. I can give y'all a hint. It's been done since the beginning of time and everybody can do it who gives it a try - the talent comes a dime a dozen, but I think the method for my madness can stand out better than the rest. If I just put in some effing work, that is.

Don't go thinking I'm crazy now. I'm perfectly sane. And if you figure it out, you should know that I'm making progress. So ha.

Goodnight and good day.

Post title is due in part to the chill atmosphere of the night, and the fact that I'm winding down and this is a good song to wind down to, and also the fact that Drake actually isn't so bad of an artist. So yeah. Post title is by Drake, from the song Doing it Wrong. Ever on a dark, quiet, and contemplative drive home? Play this song and it'll totally fit your mood. The perfect sleepy R&B tune, for the tired mind my friends.

-Gelina